Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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