i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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