I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
