the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
