he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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