How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
