That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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