I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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