just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
