Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
