You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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