capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
