Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
