i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
