I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
