Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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