The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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