i think my tv is drunk
Soap is not a condiment
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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