if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude i'm inner monologue high
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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