do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize