Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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