Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
