it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
