i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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