A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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