How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
