sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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