That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
