i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
