I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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