then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
