So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
