he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
