Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
