Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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