Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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