YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
