Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
