i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
