is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize