I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
