Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
