i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
