hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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