Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
