Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize