Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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