am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
