Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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