I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
