If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize