Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
