I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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