No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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