dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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