Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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