do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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