there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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