My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
