we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sacagawea was the original milf.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
