just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
