They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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