so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Randomize
