i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
